OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Still dying that you shit outside
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
