he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
