dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize