my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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