So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
