I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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