I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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