i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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