I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
