Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
