The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
