FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
50% drunk capacity currently
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Randomize
