Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
