Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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