my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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