so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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