You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
