well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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