That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
