she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Drunk is not a location!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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