so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender