how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
