Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
