Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
