You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize