Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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