I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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