Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
