As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
