My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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