Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
sarcasm needs its own font
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
