you're like a bully in the Christmas story
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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