just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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