I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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