Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize
