Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
