I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
