If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
