He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
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