hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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