I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
