So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Sober January is a disaster.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
