If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Randomize
