So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Operation Purity has been aborted
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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