Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
So many bounce houses so little time
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
