Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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