Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
