It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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