I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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