I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize
