I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
