there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
