I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
