dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
