found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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