called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
