omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
